So, I don't know if anyone reads my blog. Oh wait, there's nothing to read, because I haven't posted in almost a year. But I do enjoy writing, if blogging can actually be called that. And my husband encourages me to do it, so with new resolve, I shall blog this year.
Last year, I gave up on traditional New Year's Resolutions. I decided that I was just setting myself up for failure. We all know that I'm not really going to lose 3o pounds this year, or get my entire life completely organized, so why pretend? Rather, I adopted the "One Word" philosophy- I chose one word that I want to typify my life for the year. In 2010 I chose the word "LIVE." Simple, I know. Now, my intent was not just to continue breathing and sustain consciousness, although I was grateful at the end to have accomplished that. Rather, my intent was to LIVE life more fully. After 9 years of feeling like I was in survival mode, just trying to keep my sanity amidst toddlers, diapers, and multiple awakenings nightly, I decided it was high time I focused on THRIVING rather than SURVIVING. Some general thoughts surrounding my word choice were 1) Stop worrying about trying to be or appear perfect, and just enjoy my life for what it is, 2) Stop worrying about trying to make my children be or appear perfect, and just enjoy them for what they are, and 3) Try new things, be less uptight, take chances, go with the flow!
My word for 2011 is SIMPLIFY. I am coming to the realization that much of the chaos that I feel in my life is of my own creation. I overcomplicate, I procrastinate, and I don't delegate. I believe that a huge piece to feeling less pressure, more peace, and less chaos is to just simplify life as much as possible. I'm still thinking through exactly what that looks like with skin on, but here are some general thoughts: 1) Unplug more often- make a conscious effort to keep digital media, cell phones, etc from encroaching upon my time and stealing the childhood of my children 2) Purge and declutter- if you have ever seen my basement or garage, we are only a few years away from an appearance on "Hoarders." We have too much stuff, and it's not well organized. Changes must be made, and a more simple life must be had. 3) Simplify our food choices. This use of the word "simplify" does not denote "easier," but truly "more real, less artificial, foods that are simply food rather than chemicals." While this choice might actually complicate my life, I think it is important. 4) Learn to say "No." I don't think I need to explain that one.
One of the reasons I am trying to commit to more frequent blogging is to force myself to update about the process of simplification. What are you working on this year? What is your One Word?
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Anonymity
Friends and family,
Just as added precaution in this world of cyber-lunatics, I am trying to make my blog more anonymous- removing our actual names and replacing them with nicknames, which might take awhile, but I think should be done. If you can't keep track of who's who, see the sidebar section called "My Cast of Characters" for reference.
Just as added precaution in this world of cyber-lunatics, I am trying to make my blog more anonymous- removing our actual names and replacing them with nicknames, which might take awhile, but I think should be done. If you can't keep track of who's who, see the sidebar section called "My Cast of Characters" for reference.
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Working Titles
So, I keep having people tell me I should write a book. Not sure I have the talent or the drive to do that, but if I do, I now have 2 ideas with working titles, thanks to some dear friends and hilarious dinner conversation. "Cheesesticks & Chicken Nuggets" and "Soup is Not a Meal."
Feed Sparingly
We have added a new pet to the household. Faithie really disliked one of her Christmas presents from us, so I told her she could take it back to WalMart for a store credit. She chose to use that credit to buy a Betta fish, tank, and accessories. She named her fish Prince Charming as we walked through the store. When we got into the van, she said, "Mom, I think the people at WalMart named this fish Sparingly." I asked why she thought that, and she replied, "Because on the lid to his container, it says 'Feed Sparingly Once Daily.' " I now have another GREAT pet name - looks like our next 2 pets will be named Stupid (see the post titled "Stupid Dog")and Sparingly.
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Conscience
In my previous post, I mentioned my impending trip to the Dominican Republic. Mack and I go on a "beachy" trip every year about this time, through work. It would be a strong statement to say that we are "forced" to go, but it would be an accurate statement to say that Mack has to pay for it whether we go or not. The destination was decided about 6 months ago, and I have already vacillated between being excited and feeling guilty. Excited because, hey, it's a week on a beach with my husband and I love to travel to new places, but guilty because I know what a poor country it is and I always feel like a rich, spoiled American going to places like that on a vacation, rather than a mission trip, etc. Going frivolously to a destination where I know a group from our church is going on mission trip in a few months really hangs on my conscience.
My guilt has escalated to a whole new level since the catastrophic earthquake in Haiti last week. I googled it, and where we are going is 400 kilometers from Port-au-Prince. I feel so bad about spending a week on the beach when so many so close by are suffering, rather than doing something to help. Part of me wants to just not go, part of me wants to trek across the island to hand out food, water, and clothing, and part of me realizes that going maybe does help in a very miniscule way. I read a statement from the D.R.'s minister of tourism, who said that they were strongly urging vacationers not to cancel their trips, that tourism helps the D.R.'s economy, and if the D.R. is strong, it can help neighboring Haiti. But I'm not sure that that really puts my conscience at ease...
My guilt has escalated to a whole new level since the catastrophic earthquake in Haiti last week. I googled it, and where we are going is 400 kilometers from Port-au-Prince. I feel so bad about spending a week on the beach when so many so close by are suffering, rather than doing something to help. Part of me wants to just not go, part of me wants to trek across the island to hand out food, water, and clothing, and part of me realizes that going maybe does help in a very miniscule way. I read a statement from the D.R.'s minister of tourism, who said that they were strongly urging vacationers not to cancel their trips, that tourism helps the D.R.'s economy, and if the D.R. is strong, it can help neighboring Haiti. But I'm not sure that that really puts my conscience at ease...
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
The Mind of a Five Year Old
Every night when I tuck C-Ray into bed, I wait to hear what questions he will ask. Tonight's questions were paricularly extensive. Here is what I can remember:
-What causes earthquakes?
-What do earthquakes look like?
-Does the ground crack open?
-Should we go in the basement if there's an earthquake?
-Should we go outside if there is an earthquake?
-Can tornados suck up houses?
-Do tornados cause earthquakes?
-Why did God make tornados and earthquakes?
-Can you go to heaven even if you're not buried?
-Will we have blood in heaven?
-How tall is God?
-How old is God?
-What does "survive" mean?
-Are there earthquakes in Wisconsin?
-Are there tornados in Wisconsin?
-Why didn't the people in Canada go into their basements during the earthquake? (Note: I did correct him that the earthquake was in Haiti, not Canada)
-What's a hut?
-Can the people in Haiti move to somewhere else?
It was somewhere about this point that I told him I needed to go see why Little One was out of bed and put her back. I did reassure him about 5 times that there usually aren't earthquakes in Wisconsin, so he didn't need to be worried. I did NOT tell him that my trip next week is to the Dominican Republic, which is on the same island as Haiti- I didn't think that can of worms needed to be opened in his little mind...
-What causes earthquakes?
-What do earthquakes look like?
-Does the ground crack open?
-Should we go in the basement if there's an earthquake?
-Should we go outside if there is an earthquake?
-Can tornados suck up houses?
-Do tornados cause earthquakes?
-Why did God make tornados and earthquakes?
-Can you go to heaven even if you're not buried?
-Will we have blood in heaven?
-How tall is God?
-How old is God?
-What does "survive" mean?
-Are there earthquakes in Wisconsin?
-Are there tornados in Wisconsin?
-Why didn't the people in Canada go into their basements during the earthquake? (Note: I did correct him that the earthquake was in Haiti, not Canada)
-What's a hut?
-Can the people in Haiti move to somewhere else?
It was somewhere about this point that I told him I needed to go see why Little One was out of bed and put her back. I did reassure him about 5 times that there usually aren't earthquakes in Wisconsin, so he didn't need to be worried. I did NOT tell him that my trip next week is to the Dominican Republic, which is on the same island as Haiti- I didn't think that can of worms needed to be opened in his little mind...
Monday, 18 January 2010
Being In Love...
This is very random, but I ran across this quote by C.S. Lewis and liked it. I wanted to keep it, but knew I would just lose it if I wrote it down somewhere, so I am putting it here. I like what it says about the kind of love that you grow into, the kind that keeps your marriage running, is a conscious choice, a habit to be reinforced, rather than just a feeling.
Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?
But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense–love as distinct from “being in love”–is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else.
“Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.
It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.
—C.S. Lewis
Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?
But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense–love as distinct from “being in love”–is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else.
“Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.
It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.
—C.S. Lewis
Thursday, 14 January 2010
And Thus it Begins...
I was greeted in front of the school today by Faithie (age 8) with this: "Hi Mom. Guess what. I think Simon likes me. Like really likes me. He always wants to be my reading partner, and sit by me at lunch and talk to me the whole time, and he sang me this song today while we were putting our coats on (sings the song for me)." My response? "Don't tell your father."
Simon is known in my little mind as "Peanut Allergy Boy" or "The Reason Why I Can't Send Peanut Butter Sandwiches to School with My Kids." Hey, when you have 4 kids, you have to develop little ways of remembering which friend is which. I only tell you that to explain the following: Faithie says on the way home, "Mom, what if I married Simon?" My response? "Well, you would never get to eat peanut butter again." Faithie replies, "Or watermelon. Or have a cat. Our kids would have to have a dog. I guess if I was going to marry Simon, he would have to give me a list of all the things he is allergic to so I would know." If nothing else, at least she plans ahead...
Simon is known in my little mind as "Peanut Allergy Boy" or "The Reason Why I Can't Send Peanut Butter Sandwiches to School with My Kids." Hey, when you have 4 kids, you have to develop little ways of remembering which friend is which. I only tell you that to explain the following: Faithie says on the way home, "Mom, what if I married Simon?" My response? "Well, you would never get to eat peanut butter again." Faithie replies, "Or watermelon. Or have a cat. Our kids would have to have a dog. I guess if I was going to marry Simon, he would have to give me a list of all the things he is allergic to so I would know." If nothing else, at least she plans ahead...
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Because I Said So
Our older kids have started to ask why my answer is often, "Just because I said so." Perhaps I just don't feel like I really need to explain to them why they can't eat cookies a half hour before dinner, or ride their bike in the snow, or stay up until 10:00 on a school night. Or perhaps I believe they just need to accept authority for the sake of authority, without always having a reason. In "real life" we often don't get explanations behind the decisions made for us by our employers, lawmakers, and our ultimate authority, God Himself. But most times the thoughts that fly through my head as I'm justifying the "I'm your mother and I said so" logic go something like this:
Dear Child,
I carried you for nine months. I lived with nausea and vomiting and peeing every half hour while you tap danced on my bladder. You gave me stretch marks and a bruised tailbone that has never been quite the same since. I endured hours of painful labor, a not so pleasant delivery, and stitches in places where no one should ever have to be stitched. From late night feedings to bed wetting and bad dreams, I have lost more hours of sleep than you can fathom. I’ve sat on the edge of your bed watching you sleep when you had a fever, dragged out the humidifier and Vicks in the middle of the night when you had a cough, held back your hair and waited with a damp cloth while you vomited in the toilet, and cleaned it up when you didn’t make it to the toilet. I have encountered more pee, poop, spit up, snot, and vomit than you can imagine. I have stopped in the middle of necessary tasks to put cream on invisible mosquito bites and band-aids on miniscule scrapes. I have endured the humiliation of letting you scream your way through the grocery store, hoping to teach you that you will not always get what you want. I have waited many half hours for you to learn to dress yourself, when I could have done it myself in two minutes. I have gone through alphabet letters, counting by two’s, and memory verses enough times to make me want to put my head through the wall. I've sat in the freezing rain at football practices, listened to tone deaf children sing in Christmas concerts, nervously prayed that you wouldn’t forget your lines during class plays, and cheered for you like a mad woman at all of it. I have searched for more lost shoes, toys, and homework than I care to think about. I have stayed up until 2:00 AM on Christmas Eve wrapping presents, then awakened with you at 6:00 on Christmas morning with a smile on my face. I have dealt with playground bullies and unfair situations on your behalf in ways that you will never know about. I have stood in your doorway for hours to make sure it was done right while you cleaned your room, hoping to teach you responsibility. I have worn in public the ugly jewelry that you so proudly gave me, and displayed countless pieces of “artwork” simply because you made it for me. I have sacrificed things I would love to do and have, so that your needs and wants could be fulfilled. I daily serve as your cook, maid, chauffer, and entertainer. I have listened to hours of mind numbing chatter, and answered thousands of childish questions. I have held back tears while I watched you fall and make mistakes, so that you could learn for yourself what not to do, and picked you up again without an “I told you so.” I have dreamed for you, grieved for you, and prayed for you, while you live your life in innocent oblivion. But despite all the sleeplessness, struggles and “inconveniences,” I love you more than my own life, I humbly count it a blessing to be your mother, and I call you a gift from God. And for all those reasons, “I’m your mother and I said so” IS a perfectly acceptable answer. Thank you.
Signed,
Mom
Dear Child,
I carried you for nine months. I lived with nausea and vomiting and peeing every half hour while you tap danced on my bladder. You gave me stretch marks and a bruised tailbone that has never been quite the same since. I endured hours of painful labor, a not so pleasant delivery, and stitches in places where no one should ever have to be stitched. From late night feedings to bed wetting and bad dreams, I have lost more hours of sleep than you can fathom. I’ve sat on the edge of your bed watching you sleep when you had a fever, dragged out the humidifier and Vicks in the middle of the night when you had a cough, held back your hair and waited with a damp cloth while you vomited in the toilet, and cleaned it up when you didn’t make it to the toilet. I have encountered more pee, poop, spit up, snot, and vomit than you can imagine. I have stopped in the middle of necessary tasks to put cream on invisible mosquito bites and band-aids on miniscule scrapes. I have endured the humiliation of letting you scream your way through the grocery store, hoping to teach you that you will not always get what you want. I have waited many half hours for you to learn to dress yourself, when I could have done it myself in two minutes. I have gone through alphabet letters, counting by two’s, and memory verses enough times to make me want to put my head through the wall. I've sat in the freezing rain at football practices, listened to tone deaf children sing in Christmas concerts, nervously prayed that you wouldn’t forget your lines during class plays, and cheered for you like a mad woman at all of it. I have searched for more lost shoes, toys, and homework than I care to think about. I have stayed up until 2:00 AM on Christmas Eve wrapping presents, then awakened with you at 6:00 on Christmas morning with a smile on my face. I have dealt with playground bullies and unfair situations on your behalf in ways that you will never know about. I have stood in your doorway for hours to make sure it was done right while you cleaned your room, hoping to teach you responsibility. I have worn in public the ugly jewelry that you so proudly gave me, and displayed countless pieces of “artwork” simply because you made it for me. I have sacrificed things I would love to do and have, so that your needs and wants could be fulfilled. I daily serve as your cook, maid, chauffer, and entertainer. I have listened to hours of mind numbing chatter, and answered thousands of childish questions. I have held back tears while I watched you fall and make mistakes, so that you could learn for yourself what not to do, and picked you up again without an “I told you so.” I have dreamed for you, grieved for you, and prayed for you, while you live your life in innocent oblivion. But despite all the sleeplessness, struggles and “inconveniences,” I love you more than my own life, I humbly count it a blessing to be your mother, and I call you a gift from God. And for all those reasons, “I’m your mother and I said so” IS a perfectly acceptable answer. Thank you.
Signed,
Mom
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Playing Catch Up
I can't believe I haven't blogged since early June. Mack keeps telling me I should keep it up, that he misses it. I guess I feel like I should have something profound to say, or at the very least funny, and I guess I just don't feel that I have had anything to say that meets that description. Or if I do, life goes by too fast to sit down and process it.
Well, our 3 "big kids" are all in school now- Faithie is in 2nd grade, Apple in 1st, and C-Ray in kindergarten. When I look back to the days when they were all tiny, I felt like I would be trapped in toddlerhood forever, and that the day when they would go to school would never come. It seems like an eternity ago, yet also like it has gone lightning fast. Now, it's just Little One and me here most days. Not sure where all the "extra time" I thought I was going to have disappeared to. I often still feel like I need a clone or 3. Having just one at home has allowed me to volunteer and be more involved at the kids' school though, which is great.
We had an awesome Thanksgiving and long holiday weekend. It was "just us" this year, which is always bittersweet- nice because it is more relaxed and we get to focus our attention on the kids rather than "entertaining," but the fact that we are not surrounded by our other loved ones lingers in the air. Anyway, we decorated for Christmas and watched the Huskers on Friday, took the kids to Sesame Street Live on Saturday morning, and to a small town Christmas parade on Saturday night. Mack and the 3 "big kids" actually drove a vehicle in the parade, which was fun for them.
Looking forward now to Christmas. We are going to Texas this year- we haven't celebrated Christmas there in 5 years (C-Ray was just 8 months old, which is hard to fathom). The kids are so excited about being with Grandma & Grandpa and Nana & Papa! I think maybe the grandparents are a little bit excited, too...
Well, our 3 "big kids" are all in school now- Faithie is in 2nd grade, Apple in 1st, and C-Ray in kindergarten. When I look back to the days when they were all tiny, I felt like I would be trapped in toddlerhood forever, and that the day when they would go to school would never come. It seems like an eternity ago, yet also like it has gone lightning fast. Now, it's just Little One and me here most days. Not sure where all the "extra time" I thought I was going to have disappeared to. I often still feel like I need a clone or 3. Having just one at home has allowed me to volunteer and be more involved at the kids' school though, which is great.
We had an awesome Thanksgiving and long holiday weekend. It was "just us" this year, which is always bittersweet- nice because it is more relaxed and we get to focus our attention on the kids rather than "entertaining," but the fact that we are not surrounded by our other loved ones lingers in the air. Anyway, we decorated for Christmas and watched the Huskers on Friday, took the kids to Sesame Street Live on Saturday morning, and to a small town Christmas parade on Saturday night. Mack and the 3 "big kids" actually drove a vehicle in the parade, which was fun for them.
Looking forward now to Christmas. We are going to Texas this year- we haven't celebrated Christmas there in 5 years (C-Ray was just 8 months old, which is hard to fathom). The kids are so excited about being with Grandma & Grandpa and Nana & Papa! I think maybe the grandparents are a little bit excited, too...
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